Jeanne Denney
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The Far Side of Relationship

Relationships have a profound role in the life movement, and have a life cycle and vibration of their own. If we realize that all relationships pulsate as a simple function of their aliveness we accept and celebrate that they expand and contract, form and will transform through dissolution of roles at some point. Most often we resist this process. Many relationships get lost in static images of what a relationship should look like, their roles should be or what love is. This does not allow the greater truth and mystery of rhythm to move within the relationship. Whether a relationship is in an expansive phase, in stasis, is in contraction or preparing for an ending and rebirth, it greatly improves relational vitality if we can allow all that is trying to take place without working against it. Understanding that in each “contraction” there is a balancing expansion, and vice versa, greatly helps us stay centered in the heart through growth and change. (See "The Dual Pulse")

Working with natural pulsation is perhaps love’s greatest expression. It liberates and expresses great energy of heart. To love is to allow fluid movement and both attachment and differentiation processes into the equation. In states of health, both are going on at one time. To learn this is to cultivate freedom and ease in self and other and confidence in the strength of the web of life and the truth of its expression. Conversely, when we resist the natural movements of relationships we create unnecessary chaos, confusion and pain. This chaos becomes lodged in the body, diminishes energetic resources, spirituality, sexuality and capacity for connection. It also constricts natural breath and physical movement. Understanding and working consciously with this revitalizes many relationships even as or if roles and forms are changing.

Relational Cords

Relational cords are spoken about by many healers. They are a kind of energetic conduit which allows energy between people to move, a vehicle for relationship. While most educated westerners are taught that our interpersonal communication happens because of language and sight as sensation activates neurons of eyes and ears, healers and mystics usually see communication occurring by far more visceral and direct means from energy system to energy system, translated directly through the body energy and nervous system. These “cords” so to speak are really aspects of chakras, structures that form webs of connection, our energies mixing and exchanging in wordless conversation with each other, in “body language”. In neuroscience we could call this phenomenon “mirror neurons”. In this perhaps we are different than animals in that in our bi-podal stance our chakras are so openly exposed to each other. As a result, for good or ill, we can come into deep connection, forming complex social exchange.

Human beings seem designed to relate in inter-dependence. Social by nature, we mainly live in groups, families and communities. The web of exchange, indeed the energy economy, that these cords create. Our pulsing, breathing relationships are surely part of how we survive in health. Social support structures through the life span are known to enhance immune function, decrease mental and physical illness and increase longevity. Of course relationships can be dysfunctional, depleting and a source of illness themselves. Whatever the configuration, even at far distances we can feel relationship through this system. This communal template for survival, patterned from birth and early attachment, is partly derived from the deep exchange that goes on from chakra to chakra.